Sunday, August 14, 2011

From Peaceful to Emo to Pleasant

I am a wee bit emotional and very tired.

I tossed and turned last night and was up and down. That is not typical for me - I only awake to the sound of crying children and otherwise sleep oh so soundly.

(Tangent: Speaking of crying children - Raegan woke up around midnight last night as I was waiting on her daddy to return home from work. She was hysterical as she had a vwery, vwery, vwery bad dweam. She was also more than half asleep as I was comforting her on my lap when suddenly, I felt a very warm, tingly sensation. Nope, wasn't the love I have for my gorgeous four year old daughter washing over me, it was instead: PEE. She totally peed on me. I wasn't mad at her, of course, because really she didn't realize what she was doing but um, it is never lovely being peed upon.)

Anyhow. I slept for all of 3 hours last night and had church this morning. I was heavily tempted not to go, but praise Jesus made it ( six weeks so far!). We had the girls favorite lunch - pasta and cheeeeesy sauce and settled down for a long nap, as Baby John parties it up in the church nursery during his normal morning rest time. I look forward to this big family nap all week long. It is the only time where everyone settles down and just...rests. I suppose that is what God intended with the Sabbath: Worship Him then rest.
“Six days you shall do your work, but on the seventh day you shall rest; that your ox and your donkey may have rest, and the son of your servant woman, and the alien, may be refreshed. Exodus 23:12
 I woke up from the nap in a good mood.

Then.

I painted my nails black and took sad self portraits myspace style.

(Ok, maybe not that much but I became TOTALLY emotional, or EMO as the kids call it these days.)

Everything that could possibly bother me or stress me out DID. On top of those things, stupid things like my Subway card with lots of points for free subs suddenly registering inactive - forcing me to make dinner (not spending $ when it should be free!). CBS airing golf (seriously, who cares about golf???) and preempting my Big Brother (my favorite show all year), kids knocking at my door for the billionth time (par for the course around here - nice one me!) and not having any soda (my fattening drink of choice).

I went up to my room to pray because when we are down and grumpy, the devil likes to attack. Turning it over to God is our first and best defense. Also, I am the cheerleader here and when mama is frowning, everyone is frowning; it is not fair to all of them. I have so many things to be thankful for that I start to feel guilty for being grumpy.  When I started to pray, I couldn't find the words which doesn't happen to me often. All I could do was cry. I felt this verse to the fullest:
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Romans 8:26
  Amen, right?!

There is a certain peace that does transcend all understanding that is only found in the Lord. My circumstances did not change, but my attitude adjusted. It is an attribute of His grace that is available to anyone.

I am ending this day thankful. Thankful for God making us emotional, and more so grateful that He knows how we feel even when we cannot express it. I am thankful for the top two kids away enjoying time with their friends. Thankful for the bottom two being so exhausted and calling it an early night. Thankful for the relaxing evening with Wilo. Thankful he did the dishes and told me to write. Thankful Big Brother aired later. Thankful for all things great, and all things trivial.

My wish for all of you is to feel the same. As I read this week: There is no line between gratitude and ingratitude; it is either one or the other.

 I am grateful.

Have a good week!

xoxo