Sunday, August 28, 2011

Cruise Ships, Toilets, Failing Hotels, And Drug Tests

I have been having the most, THE MOST, bizarre dreams lately.

There was the one where Wil and I were leaving the downtown of our capital city on a frequently traveled highway. Upon looking back, I notice this gigantic cruise ship floating in the middle of the city. It keeps floating and floating, and I tell Wil that it looks like it is going to tip over, like someone had forgotten to anchor it. We joked about how stupid they were, like: "Um, how are you going to just leave a cruise ship floating around downtown?!".  We, like everyone else on the highway, pull over to take a picture of this nonsense, still making fun of the idiots who obviously failed at their jobs. All is pretty amusing and dandy until word spreads amongst the crowd that there were actual people on that ship, and we were standing their laughing while they were drowning. I woke up entirely creeped out and disturbed at that point.

Different dream where the neighbor across from us was moving (she actually is) and was sending us some stuff she was not taking (she actually has been). Only this time - she sent over these two HUGE toilet shaped storage boxes. I am talking giant loo like replicas with the tank part being storage. I was wickedly perplexed as to why she had these things and why no one else in my home thought it was strange. Newsflash: IT IS STRANGE, and I am a plumbers daughter!

Another day last week, I dreamt I was in a very nice hotel, staying as a guest. When I went to the front desk in the morning, the staff knew who I was (although I didn't know them) and expected me to work. I could see they were floundering, very busy and very understaffed. I began working there and tried to call Wil to let him know I wasn't coming home that I HAD to work because the success of this hotel depended on me being there. I couldn't reach him, though I called him over and over and over and he storms into the hotel as mad and as mean as a snake. I then got chastised by what I guess would've been my boss.

And then tonight, the dream that inspired my need to vent via this post. I dreamt that my oldest son had hung a freakishly large sheet across across the front of my home. The cops had to come to cut it down (it was tied to electrical poles) and lecture Jakob. He was not in trouble, but the police officers decided to investigate me because apparently I looked um...stoned. I pleaded with them that I was indeed not and would gladly take a drug test because I had nothing to hide. The drug tests were this vile of what the cops compared to an LSD like liquid, to which I immediately failed. I begged them to give me another test because helloooo....I had not been using drugs. They then put this crystal like powder into my hands and it would change colors based on what drugs were in my system. The powder remained white with the exception of one tiny blue crystal which apparently indicated I was using some very heavy narcotics. I kept pleading with them that I was only taking zyrtec and benadryl (true stories - my allergies really are terrible currently) and that there was no way they could arrest me for these. I kept telling them that I had zero money and would be wrongfully stuck in jail for a very long time. The one cop then secretly gave me a pinch of chewing tobacco to keep under my tongue as that would help me pass the test. Except...I was also chewing gum, so the tobacco got all mixed up in it and eliminated any chance at freedom. Thank God the doorbell woke me up at that point.

So random, so strange.

I am not one to believe in dream symbols, though, I will admit to totally googling Toilets in dreams. Apparently, there is not too many used as storage bins. People are so weird..... ;)

I want my dreams of cupcakes, fancy dresses and Prince Charming back, please.