Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Hooch of a Stay at Home Mom

I don't ever want to sound like a spoiled, ungrateful, hooch of a Stay at Home Mama. I know how lucky I am; I am reminded of it every day when I am able to send my top two kids off to school, and greet the morning with my younger two. The fact that I can stay in my camisole and yoga pants all day long tends to whisper reminders as well. Watching Wil leave for work and knowing he's going with the sole purpose of providing for these four beautiful babies here, leaves me very proud and feeling very much indebted.

I "get" it.

I really do. 

But.

As I said to a friend recently, Some days I feel like a kid in a candy store, surrounded by so much sweetness I could eat myself in to a delicious stupor. Some days I feel like the disheveled, frazzled,  looking woman standing outside the liquor store - it's obvious she NEEDS a drink.

Today has been one of the latter.

Sigh.

It wasn't the kids today....

Marriage is hard.

MY marriage is hard.

Yours is too if you would admit it.

Sometimes I  feel like I've been having the same arguments for the past ten years with all of them producing the same result.

That's idiotic.

What's that say about me, then?

I love my husband and my family very much but some days I throw my hands up in the air and wonder what the hell we are doing.