Friday, November 12, 2010

Stuck inside my head

My word, it's been a minute!

I don't know how to explain it really - all week long I've thought about writing but I just couldn't sit down and compose my thoughts.

Probably because my thoughts have been kinda jumbled these past few days to be completely confessional. Stuck inside my head, is really the correct Meli-ism to use there - it's what it definitely feels like. A few normal things have been stressing me out lately - and imagine those things, with every possible scenario, both realistic and far fetched, stuck on an endless repeat inside your brain for days at a time.

SO MUCH FUN.

Not!

Oh, so Lame-o.

I hate it when I get like that - and It's happened my whole life! 97% of the time, I have everything in check, am very laidback and faithful, and then WHAM! Sit yo' ass down and dwell on the uncertain - over and over again. 

I break free of those persistent thoughts to function, obviously - my kiddies are a brilliant distraction, both in the emotional and the practical sense - there's not much time to 'stew' when there is homework to be done, clothes to be washed, hugs to be given and babies to love.

But they're still there at the end of the night, when all are sleeping - and it's just me here. Time normally spent writing, or connecting, - is instead spent watching mindless TV, or reading blog after blog, article after article after article - as an introverted attempt to cope.

And then.

I'm reminded of the same thing, every time.

I don't have to worry about them. I have the Utmost High on my side, ensuring that all will turn out as part of His plan. He doesn't promise that everything will be pretty, but He does promise that he'll be here every step of the way.

And the Meli sunshine starts to come back..