That's how I feel RIGHT NOW.
I've briefly mentioned to you that I've recently been missing working - it's not that I am not eternally grateful for the opportunity to be a Stay at Home mom because I AM. It was undoubtedly where I needed to be for the past two years. It's just that I've been feeling a little....unfulfilled.
So, I've been on a leisurely prowl for something that would suit my need to be satisfied as a professional, yet compliment my need to remain active and connected with my family. I've seen various positions open in the area that would meet my qualifications, but none of them really stood out and grabbed my genuine interest, or met the demands of my schedule...(hellooo, I have to be home when my kiddies get off the bus!)....Until this past Saturday.
I was checking my normal 'job' sites - and saw something that would meet alllllllllllll my needs, and would leave me very exicted, motivated, and driven to succeed. All of my skills, background, and interest are rolled up into one dynamic, irresistible, PERFECT, position.
As a result, I did something that I haven't done in two years. I updated my resume, expressed interest in this position, and sent it off.
Just the thought of having this job has brought back an energy that I have not felt in a very long time. I love feeling motivated to prove that I can excel - success on a stellar level. I like thinking about contributing my talents to something that is different from the day to day of my home and my children. I like remembering how I truly enjoyed many of my previous positions. I like reminiscing on how empowering it feels to contribute financially to my family - and how by working and having some of my energies focused professionally allowed me to find joy in the nuances of my children, the same ones that drive me crazy, now.
I want a shot at this job so, so, sooooooooooooo badly.
But, I am also confident and grounded enough to know that if it does not come to pass, it simply was not in God's plan for me. If that's the case, then maybe He has something bigger and brighter in my future. That being said, I know I will feel a bit of disappointment should it not all work out.
If nothing more, this just confirms that I certainly want to feel all of those things again, and that I most definitely want to go back to work in a position that would make me happy.
Wish me luck. Say a prayer. Send me happy vibes.
I will keep you posted......