Thursday, July 15, 2010

En Route

I have four kids.

Let that sink in - the girl who grew up swearing to sweet Jesus that I would N.E.V.E.R. have any - now has QUATRO.

Yeah, I know. It's hard to swallow. There have been moments the past two weeks where I'm just stopped dead in my tracks with the realization. I'm not kidding. I mean, obviously, I know that I have four - but it just hasn't fully sank in yet, despite living with it as a daily reality.

During the first week, I would've painted the picture of four as a group of frolicking tyedied Unicorns, dancing on clouds of marshmallow, pooing piles of jelly beans.  Easy. Lovely. Of course, Wilo was home on vacation, which meant that he was around ALL day, and present for my most trying hours - the time right before dinner until bedtime. His help was epic and so appreciated. And so missed. It was great but it wasn't reality.

The subsequent weeks - have been more trying. It is just me from early afternoon to midnight, with Wilo back to work.  There are times where I feel like I have it all together, and times where I feel like I am one episode of Dora - or one petty argument- away from the loony bin.

Now, Baby John is an awesome baby. I mean, I would say that he is PRO at being a good baby.. He is very easy to please, and very laid back. I have a really good understanding of his ques already so there is very little crying without a quick solution. He's very easy to love as well, and every day, even the trying ones, I feel incredibly special to have one more newborn attached to me. But, he IS a baby. So, that means every 3-4 hours everything in the house stops...well I stop, which means that everyone's needs do too. It's like John has this tiny, little, invisible remote with only one button - PAUSE!

My most trying moments are with the top three. It IS summertime, which means our typical schedule is very off.  While I am not a fan of homework, learning cursive, or earlly mornings...I, um, CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START!  Whew. Sorry for the yelling but oh my, it's true. It is much easier to have a schedule with the school day - and ummmmm, that also means that my top two kids are away from 8am to 4pm. It's a good break for the both of us.

Raegan is adapting moderatley well (nice, I know). She is not very interested in her baby brother, and in some ways, I think that is good.  Having  to worry about a 3yr old trying to mother him would be one. more. thing.She regressed in her potty training the second week (my first week on my own) but it seems to be correcting itself. She's also struggling with her sleep schedule. She is hit or miss with her naps, and therefore is hit or miss with her bedtime. I am pretty strict with bedtime during the school year, so having all three kids up past 9pm somenights is um, lame. I LIVE for bedtime!! This is probably the most urgent thing for me to straighten out, all selfish kidding aside.

I'm not stressing the hard days too much although they try to make me freak out, hehe. I know that we will adjust, and that we are all a work in progress. Although there may be chaos, and laundry up to the ceiling, and dishes ALWAYS in the sink, I really feel at my most natural caring for John and managing the rest of my kids. That's a really peaceful feeling.

So, thats what I've been up to - it occupies pretty much all 24 hours of my day at the moment. I have a list of my girls to call or to call back. Every day I think of them but haven't been able to make one phone call. It weighs heavy on my heart a bit - but also know that I am blessed with some very special women in my life who understand and respect our friendship. It doesn't mean that I don't miss them terribly or that I don't long to laugh and catch up with them, because I DO. It's on the agenda. Things WILL settle down. If I could just commit to calling one a day, it would make my heart smile....hmmmm....I think I will make that commitment!

It will be interesting for you - and for me - to "watch" how our family adjusts over the next several months. Have I told all of you, how much I appreciate your support of my life through this blog? I love it.  I'm glad you've decided to join me in route to the loony bin.